Partner-in-crime Meg Simpkins and I sat down to talk to Texas Indie-Folk six-piece ‘Wild Child’ about everything from their phobia of cereal, to the phenomenon of ‘Draking’ and learned a lot about the influence of 80s pornstars in nudist colonies.
You guys have grown over the years, recently quite a lot, have you noticed a change?
Alexander Beggins (Lead Vocals, Ukelele): Sadie’s grown 2 inches this year
Sadie Wolfe (Cello): I’m 7 today!
What is the weirdest thing that’s happened at one of your shows?
Evan Magers (Keyboards): We played a festival recently and a girl somehow managed to pass security, get up on stage and I think first she tried to play Chris’s bass
Chris D’Annunzio (Bass): She just walks round and I literally just see an arm come round the side of my bass and I’m like ‘what the fuck is this?!’, but I’m standing up so I walk away
Evan: So she gives up on that and goes over to Drew, and he’s got no way out cause he’s sat on the drums
Drew Brunetti (Drums): She tried to play the drums, MID SONG! So I told her ‘no, I’m still playing’, and then she got like really aggressive and took the drumsticks out of my hands and I had to, you know..
Chris: HE PUNCHED HER
Drew: No no no I just shooed her away
Kelsey Wilson (Lead Vocals, Violin): But she was so fucked up she just collapsed, but we noticed the drums had stopped, and we all kinda turned around in unison, just in time to see Drew hit a girl.
Evan: Someone made a gif out of it.
Alexander: There was this show in New York many moons ago, and there was this fire escape ladder on the side of the wall near the stage, and at the end of the show I finally summoned up the courage to run up and jump from the stage to the ladder, and I just knee this chick in the face and knock her to the ground.
Wow you guys really have a bad relationship with your female fans
Kelsey: That should be the strapline of the interview ‘WILD CHILD PUNCHES GIRLS’
I quickly got the impression that the band were not ones to take themselves or the interview too seriously, and the conversation quickly went off-piste
If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
Chris: OH MOTHERFUCKER I LIKE YOUR STYLE, is no one gonna go with invisibilty…?
Kelsey: What?! Over flying, you can just hover up in the air and watch things.
Chris: Oh please, I’m invisible, I’m gonna go, rob a hundred banks and buy a helicopter and I’ll be flying right next to you.
Evan: I’d like to just wake up and change my hair like I change my clothes, just like ‘I’m gonna have an afro today’
Meg: You know wigs do exist… sorry to burst your bubble.
Do you have any weird phobias/fears?
Drew: I’ve never had a bowl of cereal in my life, people think that’s weird
Chris: Yeah, I’ve eaten a bowl in front of him before and he just freaks out
Evan: I’m scared of dropping my sunglasses down a porta-potty, that’s an unclean that can never be cleaned.
Any pre-show rituals?
Kelsey: We have a thing we say before we go on every night: ‘In the name of the Paul and the wall and the DJ Screw, Jah provide, 123 PMA (positive mental attitude) and then Swish…net’
Sadie: ‘Swish-net’ is really popular in the states right now. Well, not really… but it will be! You have to mention it in the article!
Kelsey: Just say ‘WILD CHILD PUNCHES GIRLS… Swish-net’
You must meet some interesting people in your travels
Kelsey: I met a guy in Colorado that was the security guard at the largest nudist colony in the world, and his only job was to make dudes with boners go home for a little while. That was his only job: Boner Police.
Chris: Coolest job title ever.
Kelsey: But Ron Jeremy, the 80s porn star used to just come in with his swamps of people and turn it into like an orgy town. The people in the nudist colony hated it, cause they’re just like quiet folk who just want to be naked all the time, but Ron would roll in and tear shit up.
Have you met any famous people?
Evan: I played blackjack with Big Boy from Outkast for like 4 hours after a festival this summer.
Sadie: We had a really weird night with Steven Jenkins from Third Eye Blind, that was the first weird weird one, he is insane.
Kelsey: He told me he could harvest cat piss for my voice, like he legit knew a guy
Somehow, we got on to the topic of Drake…
Chris: Have you guys heard of ‘Draking’? Basically you know disabled signs, the little stick figure in the wheelchair. People just go up and over the white head they just slap a picture of Drake on.
Kelsey: Drake the type of dude to high five you and interlock fingers
Chris: Drake the type of dude to hug his homie and lift his leg up.
What is the worst gig you’ve played?
Sadie: We just played the worst gig in Belgium
Kelsey: It was in an old butcher shop that had turned into a venue, and it just felt weird. The crowd were so quiet, no matter what you did. The sound was good, the lights were awesome, we were all into it and played well, but they just stood there motionless. At the end they just lightly applauded and left. This woman came up at the end and said [in the most unenthused, Belgian voice] “you are like sunshine, you are like happy happy sunshine”. I was just like ‘WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO MISERABLE?!’
Alexander: There was just no movement or any signs of emotion in the crowd, at one point I was like ‘if anyone moves, I will give you 5 euros’, and one guy did the most minimal dance move ever, he just kinda shuffled his body
Kelsey: And alexander paid him 5 euros!
Alexander: Yeah he just took the money and stopped dancing.
My flatmate wanted to know, where is the weirdest place that you’ve urinated?
Sadie: (pointing at Alexander) He peed on some ancient ruins!
Alexander: It wasn’t me… it was the swans!
Chris: OH MY GOD YES HE DID, it was 5000 years old or some shit, some old walls in the country, and Alexander just strolls up and pisses all over it.
Alexander: There were some swans next to me and THEY pissed first!
Kelsey: This one time we were doing this takeaway session a while ago, when we first started the band, and I sloped off and squatted behind this pillar and peed onto this concrete – completely forgetting I was all mic’d up. And it was SOOO LOUD, and I walk round the corner and see all the tech dudes with their headphones on just staring at me.
Sadie: Once we peed right in front of people having a photoshoot on the beach
Kelsey: I have a joke for you: What’s the difference between a garbonzo and a chickpea….? Sadie doesn’t let a garbonzo in her mouth.
Drew (looking at his drink): I’ve got a question for you, maybe it’s a UK thing or maybe it’s all of Europe, but no one seems to want to give us ice?
Kelsey: That’s so true, like why can’t we have ice in our cocktails huh? (who knew 50% vodka and 50% coke was a cocktail)
Adam: I don’t work here, sorry
Meg: It’s really quite cold over here though, why would you want ice?!
Adam: It might be something to do with the tap water, cause you can’t drink from the tap in some places
Chris: What?! Ahh man I’ve been drinking tap water all week!
Adam: No no you’re fine here, we’re chill… just not chilled.
Chris: That’s fucking poetry man, someone write that down.